Flirt and Jealousy

The primary root of jealousy is insecurity.  When people feel insecure with
themselves, they will project this feeling on their partner.  The result is jealousy. 

Jealousy stems from feelings of low self-esteem and a fear that they are not
getting the attention that they need from their partner.  It can also come to
surface when someone feels that their partner is giving their time and attention
to someone else.  Jealousy is dangerous to your relationship because it is part of
a vicious cycle that is detrimental to trust, love, and respect.  If you are gripped
by jealousy’s clutches, you will undoubtedly destroy your relationship.

When a person suffers from low self-esteem they are essentially practicing self-hate. 
This can surface in a variety of ways, but the number one belief the person with low
self-esteem suffers from is the thought that they are not worthy to be loved. 
When a person believes that no one can truly love them, they will never trust the
motives or actions of their partner.  Essentially, they are always waiting for
their partner to realize that they are unworthy and to leave them for someone better. 
In turn, the jealous partner is always waiting, expecting for their partner to do
something, say something, or behave in a way that proves their belief that they aren’t
loved.

This vicious cycle leads the jealous partner to behave in ways that are inappropriate
and often in ways that can become quite troubling.  They will become suspicious of
everything that their partner says and does.  As the jealousy increases, so will the
bizarre behavior.  It is up to the person who suffers from jealousy to take control of
their behaviors and negative thoughts and take proactive steps to stop the cycle.

One of the best ways to conquer jealousy is to have open communication with your partner.  Though your jealousy may be unfounded, you shouldn’t hesitate to let your partner know how you are feeling.  When your partner reassures you that you have nothing to be jealous about, you will need to make a decision.  Either you will trust your partner and respect their feelings enough to believe what they say.  If your partner does everything within his or her power to assure you that you have no factual basis for
jealousy and you continue to be overcome with negative emotions, you will need to admit that you have a problem and take steps to overcome it.

A powerful tool for improving low self-esteem and conquering jealousy is to improve the
way you think and feel about yourself.  First, you will need to deal with the lie that
you are unworthy of love.  It may be beneficial to repeat positive confessions about
yourself.  Once you believe that you  are worthy to be loved, you can accept your
partner’s word at face value.  

 If you trust and respect your partner, you will believe that when they tell you they love you they mean it.  As you work on communication, trust,  and respect and take proactive steps to improve the way you feel and believe about  yourself, you’ll find that the feelings of jealousy will subside and the vicious cycle of  jealousy will be broken.

Flirt in the Tough Times

A successful relationship isn’t one that never has any fights, frustrations,
or arguments.  No, to define success when it comes to relationships is to
describe a relationship that understands the meaning of the word commitment. 

There is probably no better way to define the word commitment then to say it is
sheer dedication to a goal.  Therefore, a successful relationship is one that is
completely and totally dedicated to staying together no matter what comes it’s way.
 
Every relationship will experience tough times. 
A committed relationship is one that has two people who are dedicated to working
out every problem, overcoming every obstacle, and enduring every trial that
they experience.  It is difficult to find a truly committed relationship, as
it takes two people to determine for themselves that they will endure every
hardship for the sake of the relationship. 
This requires plenty of self-sacrifice, self-denial, and a willingness to put
your partner’s needs ahead of your own.

Today, many people are very self-centered.  They are consumed with thoughts of
having their own needs met and lack the ability to think of someone else’s needs
above their own.  This type of self-centered attitude makes true commitment nearly
impossible to reach.  Self-centered people are often concerned with their own happiness. 
They feel that if they are not happy, then they must abandon the relationship and
find someone else who will meet all of their needs and keep them happy. 
Not only is this attitude selfish, it is unrealistic. 

There is no relationship that is without flaws.  Commitment isn’t a journey to
instant happiness; it is a path that is paved by hard work, dedication, trust,
intimacy, and communication. 
When problems rise to the surface it seems that human nature suggests giving up. 
However, for the couple that is committed to overcoming every obstacle that life hands
them, their relationship will move into a new level. 
True intimacy is birthed through the security of knowing that your partner loves you
unconditionally and is dedicated to staying with you no matter what.  The trouble comes
when people are more used to love and feelings rather than hard work and true commitment. 

True love endures all things and will withstand the pressures of life. 
In fact, when you realize this, you will understand that it is only by true love that
someone will make the commitment to stay together no matter what happens.
It is important to understand that when you are truly committed to a relationship,
you will not jump ship as soon as storms arise.  When you understand what true
commitment is and decide to be committed in your relationship, you will then realize
how important it is to choose a partner that you are compatible with and can honestly
see yourself spending a lifetime with. 

It is extremely important to make certain that you can envision yourself committed to
your partner no matter what comes your way.  Commitment is a two-way street, but when two people determine that they will stay together regardless of life’s circumstances, they have found the true meaning of love.