Flirting and Vocal Techniques - Flirt Effectively

Many people are familiar with body language and non-verbal clues when it comes to flirting. However, just as important as these cues are, vocal cues are also important.  Vocal cues include everything from your tone, pitch, the volume you use when you are speaking as well as what you say. You may have heard the saying, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it that counts,” and when it comes to flirting this saying is definitely true.

If you’ve ever approached someone before with the intention of flirting, you may have failed to observe how you speak. Or you may have focused more on what you were going to say and even rehearsed an opening line several times. However, what you may find is more relevant is working on your tone, your volume, the speed with which you speak and where you place emphasis and inflection on your words.  In fact, studies have shown that when it comes to flirting, the most important clues you give are non-verbal body signals, but after that your verbal hints are the most important.  Therefore, it is imperative that you pay close attention to your vocal presentation and techniques when flirting.

In addition, when you are actively engaged in the art of flirting, if you know how to  decipher the vocal signals and clues that the “flirted” is giving off, you’ll have a better idea of how either he or she feels about you.  There is no doubt that paying attention to the verbal and vocal cues that you are giving as well as receiving can let you know if your flirting is headed in the right direction.

A general rule is that if someone is interested in you, they will reflect this in their tone of voice.  For example, if someone likes you and asks you a question or offers a comment, they may draw out the sentence, or put a little bit of rise at the end of their statement. If someone speaks to you and isn’t interested in you, they will more than likely speak to you in a monotonous tone of voice and they will not have much interest or inflection in their voice.  They may answer a question with a tone that sounds abrupt, final, or just bored.  Imagine that you are in a bar and someone sitting next to you says, “Would you please pass the peanuts, “ in a monotonous tone, you pass the bowl and he or she then grabs the bowl, says a flat, “Thanks,” and turns abruptly away.  These vocal cues alert you to the fact that this person is most likely not interested in you.  Now picture this scenario.

The person sitting next to you taps you on the shoulder, you turn, and he or she looks you in the eye and in a slow drawn out manner says, “Um, excuse me.  Would you please pass the peanuts?” with a strong emphasis on the word please.  You turn to pass the peanuts and now he or she smiles at you and says, “Thanks,” while their gaze fixes on yours. They slowly turn back to their seat but you can sense from the verbal cues that they are interested. When you understand how to read vocal and verbal techniques and signals you will not only flirt more effectively, but you’ll also have a clearer idea of who is or isn’t ready to receive your flirting advances.

Signs that she is Flirting with You

When a guy is interested in a woman, he wants to make sure that he has a chance with her before he takes the time to flirt with her.  However, his job is much easier if the potential love interest flirts with him first.  It can be confusing when a guy likes a girl and just isn’t sure whether or not she likes him.  Many times a girl not only likes a guy, but is flirting with him, trying to get his attention, and guys simply aren’t aware that their window of opportunity is wide open before them.  Here are some signs that the woman you are interested in is flirting with you.
 
If a woman likes you and is flirting with you, you’ll see that she initiates conversation  with you and looks into your eyes when she speaks with you.   When a woman likes a guy and is interested in him, she will look for opportunities to initiate conversations.  You’ll also find that her voice takes on a hurried or excited tone when she speaks with you.  A monotone indicates that a woman is bored, if she is flirting with you, her voice will sound energetic and she will show great interest in talking with you.

Some women can’t help but blush when they are flirting with a man that they like.  They may not be aware of this.  If you suspect a woman is flirting with you, take a good look at the color tone of her skin. If she looks as if she is blushing or becoming flushed, it is a sign that she is excited and feeling a little bit nervous around you.

In addition to speaking excitedly or with a hurried tone, you may also find that when a  woman flirts with you she sounds hesitant or begins stuttering.  This may be due to the fact that while she is speaking to you, she begins to lose her sense of self-assuredness. Never mistake a woman’s trying to impress you or worrying about her delivery with boredom.  A woman may appear shy because she likes you, not because she is bored.

Another sign that a woman is flirting with you is if she touches her face or plays with her hair while talking to you.  When a woman touches her face or twirls her hair it shows that she is thinking about you touching her.  It is often a subconscious move but is indicative that she likes you and is interested in you.

Like touching her hair and face, a woman will lick her lips or even touch them playfully  if she is flirting with you.  Again, this is a subconscious move but shows that she is thinking about kissing you.  Sometimes women will bite their lower lip or even apply lip-gloss, these are all signs that she likes you and is interested in you. If you notice that the woman you are interested in is doing any of these actions, then you should take the opportunity to talk with her.

The Best Places to Flirt

When it comes to flirting, where you flirt is just as important as how you flirt. Generally speaking, you can flirt anywhere you see a person of interest, however some locations are more hospitable to flirting then others.  It’s important to make sure that you are flirting with someone in an appropriate environment.  For instance, hospitals and funerals are not a good place for flirting.  You may think you have spotted the woman of your dreams but flirting while someone is in mourning is definitely not appropriate.  Since flirting should always be done with a playful and energetic spirit, it is important to choose locations, places that are friendly and warm environments for flirting.

Clubs, parties, dances, bars and restaurants are some of the most popular and best places to flirt. Due to the fact that most people are relaxed and are enjoying themselves, you’ll find that more people will be receptive to your flirting in these environments as opposed to other locations.  You should always keep in mind that your flirting should be relaxed and positive.  Therefore, if someone is in the middle of eating a meal at a restaurant, you may not find that is the best time for flirting.  If someone is alone, wait until they have finished eating before flashing that smile or giving them a wink.  If they are drinking a cup of coffee, you may want to consider walking over to them and introducing yourself. 

It’s important to make sure that you are true to yourself when flirting.  Just think of it, if you flirt with someone and are successful, you may end up in a relationship.  Wouldn’t it be awful to have introduced yourself on false pretenses, only to end up really caring about someone that you may have been dishonest with?  You should always be honest and sincere in your approach to flirting.  One way to make sure that you increase your odds of flirting with people who will be compatible with is to flirt with people that you meet when you are engaging in activities and hobbies that you truly enjoy.  For example, some men may pretend that they have an interest in gardening in order to meet single women.  However, once the relationship takes off, the man is left pretending to have an interest in orchids and roses when he’d rather be out bowling or playing golf.  Always be true to your own likes and meet people who share those interests.
 
Once you determine what your hobbies and interests are you shouldn’t hesitate to flirt with single women and men there.  Also, don’t feel that you must be limited to things that you know.  If you are interested in learning about something, then take a class.  Taking a class is a great way to flirt with people. Classes are designed to involve and incorporate participation.  You will find that talking to other classmates will come naturally and it can be very easy to talk to someone that you are interested in regarding any questions that you may have regarding the class.  Flirting should always be fun and easy, but it should also be sincere.

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