Things to Avoid when Flirting - The Art of Attraction

Flirting is a very powerful tool that is used in the art of attraction.  When it is used correctly, it can open up new relationships, is an instant icebreaker, and can  lead the way for better communication. However, if it is used in the wrong manner,  all havoc can break out.  It is important to understand how to use flirting to your  advantage and to know what things you should avoid when flirting.

First, it should be stated that flirting is a suggestion. It should be fun, respectful, and innocent.  It should convey the message that you are suggesting deeper communication with a person.  It should never be intrusive, disrespectful, or invade  someone’s privacy.  To flirt correctly, you should make certain that your flirting  behaviors never disrespect, intimidate, or invade another’s space or privacy.

Second, you should understand that flirting is a suggestion, not a behavior. This means simply that the target of your flirting should never feel that you are imposing yourself on them, especially in a sexual nature or content. When flirting is done correctly, it conveys the message that you are friendly and would like to get  to know someone better.  It should never make someone feel that they are a sexual  object that is being pursued.  By keeping this in mind, you can avoid many of the  flirting mistakes that others make.

If you are considering telling a dirty joke as a means of flirting, ask yourself if this is a friendly message or one that is imposing sexual innuendos.  By asking yourself these questions you can separate true flirting from crude behavior that is  an instant turn off.

You should also realize that the person you are flirting with should show some positive response to your initiatives, or else you are wasting your time.  It’s important to remember that non-verbal communication is just as important as verbal  communication.  If you are smiling at someone, or making eye contact with him or her,  you will need to quickly assess his or her body language to determine if your flirting  is successful.  You can determine this by whether or not the recipient smiles, makes  similar eye contact with you, or begins to talk with you.  If they do not return your  smile, or turns their head and looks away, you should look for another person to flirt with.

You’ll also want to avoid not looking sincere or real when flirting.  Many people flirt but they seem as if they are acting and this is not a successful technique. The key to successful flirting is to be yourself, funny, witty and charming.  If you  appear fake you will not find your flirting techniques effective.

It is never a good idea to flirt by using physical touch, unless you have already been engaged in a conversation.  However, you should always use caution when touching someone.  Even a gentle tug on the arm will let someone know that you are interested in more than friendly conversation.  Touching is a very powerful way to flirt, but it should be used cautiously.  You don’ want to appear that you are invading someone’s space or not respecting their boundaries.  However, if your conversation is flowing smoothly, a gentle touch on the arm or hand is an excellent way to let someone know that you are interested in them.