Flirt and Jealousy

The primary root of jealousy is insecurity.  When people feel insecure with
themselves, they will project this feeling on their partner.  The result is jealousy. 

Jealousy stems from feelings of low self-esteem and a fear that they are not
getting the attention that they need from their partner.  It can also come to
surface when someone feels that their partner is giving their time and attention
to someone else.  Jealousy is dangerous to your relationship because it is part of
a vicious cycle that is detrimental to trust, love, and respect.  If you are gripped
by jealousy’s clutches, you will undoubtedly destroy your relationship.

When a person suffers from low self-esteem they are essentially practicing self-hate. 
This can surface in a variety of ways, but the number one belief the person with low
self-esteem suffers from is the thought that they are not worthy to be loved. 
When a person believes that no one can truly love them, they will never trust the
motives or actions of their partner.  Essentially, they are always waiting for
their partner to realize that they are unworthy and to leave them for someone better. 
In turn, the jealous partner is always waiting, expecting for their partner to do
something, say something, or behave in a way that proves their belief that they aren’t
loved.

This vicious cycle leads the jealous partner to behave in ways that are inappropriate
and often in ways that can become quite troubling.  They will become suspicious of
everything that their partner says and does.  As the jealousy increases, so will the
bizarre behavior.  It is up to the person who suffers from jealousy to take control of
their behaviors and negative thoughts and take proactive steps to stop the cycle.

One of the best ways to conquer jealousy is to have open communication with your partner.  Though your jealousy may be unfounded, you shouldn’t hesitate to let your partner know how you are feeling.  When your partner reassures you that you have nothing to be jealous about, you will need to make a decision.  Either you will trust your partner and respect their feelings enough to believe what they say.  If your partner does everything within his or her power to assure you that you have no factual basis for
jealousy and you continue to be overcome with negative emotions, you will need to admit that you have a problem and take steps to overcome it.

A powerful tool for improving low self-esteem and conquering jealousy is to improve the
way you think and feel about yourself.  First, you will need to deal with the lie that
you are unworthy of love.  It may be beneficial to repeat positive confessions about
yourself.  Once you believe that you  are worthy to be loved, you can accept your
partner’s word at face value.  

 If you trust and respect your partner, you will believe that when they tell you they love you they mean it.  As you work on communication, trust,  and respect and take proactive steps to improve the way you feel and believe about  yourself, you’ll find that the feelings of jealousy will subside and the vicious cycle of  jealousy will be broken.